Dear God

from Simmer by J.Smo

/

about

My plan was to never release this song. People starting saying I should...so I put it on an obscure EP only true fans are going to find ;)

lyrics

forget the introductions, let me skip to the roots
my daddy was a preacher and an alcoholic too
but he hid that practice for 15 years
so the night he went to rehab, i was shocked beyond tears
numbed to my senses, let the fucking picture clear
see the curtain fall as the truth is revealed
the puzzle grows bigger as the pieces fall into place
but the rage inside of me had just begun to take shape
lured to the dark side, i took destructive paths
swerved into the fast lane and never looked back
i didn’t even think about the people that i hurt
threw my middle fingers to religion and to the church
my pain became my pride and to my Mama i am sorry
she hurt a soul but daddy’s drinking stripped her jolly
his late nights binges were the reason we were broke
on top of credit cards - plastic money - what a joke

Dear God
i’m bent. these drugs have taken hold, my mind is spent
i’m lost in the shuffle, trying to find a way to hustle
on this road to make a life and get a grip
Dear God
i’m gone. so i’m pouring what’s left into this song
i’m digging deep...to find my soul
but somewhere down this road i lost control

Haynes Manor, Murfreesboro, Tennessee
live a double life on my search for identity
so close to walkin’ out of MT with 2 degrees
while working’ thru the pain baby mama pushed on me
in between classes, snorting’ lines in the bathroom
while chillin’, absorbing knowledge in the classroom
then its find a ride or take a walk back home
the goons been back at my crib pushin’ all of my dope
take one to the dome and then to counting my ends
it’s time to re-up, break it down, do it again
it's a vicious cycle, and i’m spinning
now the cops are catching on, i’m sinning
what the hell would Daddy think? I failed the mission
that boy is too stubborn, he never listens
yeah he’s right, i have to do it my way
but look into our history and that is how our genes play

still dodgin’ the cops, still chasing the guap
same hustle, same story, i just changed up the spot
from the dimes at Womack to the bricks at Chelsea Place
i accelerated quick on this road to disgrace
but i was good a movin’ weight and the Mexicans knew it
but little did we know a snitch would bring us to ruins
and of course the story goes I thought this dude was my friend
now i’m stuck inside a gangsta movie with a bitter end
but his is real life, so i chose to walk away
the day cops came and offered me a tattle’s pay
i ain’t walkin’ down this road, i ain’t goin’ here no more
i ain’t raisin’ kids to have no daddy...stuck here alone
life is bad enough, they don’t need an extra head trip
and money ain’t worth the sweat, the tears, or the blood drip
so all you rappers can keep on actin’ hard
but if you step to me, you better pray…. Dear God.

credits

from Simmer, released April 25, 2018
produced and written by J.Smo

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all rights reserved

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about

J.Smo of BUNKS Sacramento, California

J.Smo has been releasing music independently since 1999, originally as part of BUNKS (Manchester, Tennessee). Now a father of 3, husband, CMO, COO, musicpreneur, educator and jedi-of-many-trades, J.Smo continues to share his journey and thoughts while facing inner demons head on through rhyme. ... more

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